How Soon Is Too Soon To Move In Together?

(A lovely pink building on my block in the East Village)

With the high price of rent and the fear of a potentially crazy Craigslist roommate, New York City couples tend to rush moving in together.

In your early twenties, having roomies in the city was wonderful. You always had friends around to watch trashy reality tv, brave the long line at Trader Joe’s and to give an honest opinion on a first date outfit.

When the clock starts ticking away to thirty, and you’ve finally landed a job with enough zeros at the end to live alone, many of us move out of our shared three-bedrooms for a tiny studio. It may seem manageable at first, but living solo can get pretty costly for even those who are making the big bucks (and unfortunately, that’s not me). From cable to ConEd, the bills add up quickly. 

When you’re in a relationship, having your boyfriend around your shared apartment multiple nights a week can be a real pain in the butt for roommates, so once you’ve got your own pad, your significant other can come and go as he pleases. (Or at least as often as you’d like him to be there  - because a girl does need her alone time!)

When couples have become comfortable, moving in together seems like the next big step. But, how soon is too soon to move in together? I’m all for living with your guy before getting married because how else would you know if your living styles are compatible? Or at least that there’s a chance you can “fix” his quirks, like training him to get his dirty laundry in the hamper rather than in piles on the floor.

In an expensive and often lonely city like New York, couples tend to move in together before they’re really “ready” due to financial necessity or just because they think it will take the relationship to the “next level”, whatever that really means. This can unfortunately lead to a dramatic breakup, when a broken lease and major fines are more serious than your broken hearts.

What’s your take on the right time to move in together? Does it vary couple to couple or is there a timeframe when you know you should be boxing up your belonging to make the big move? xo