Wednesday, May 30, 2012

What Not To Do In Bed

(image via The Gloss)

During your first time in bed as a couple (or heck, during a one night stand) there are a few things to make sure you avoid doing under the sheets

Once you’re in a serous, loving relationship, having sex on the regular can easily become monotonous if you’re not careful. Sex should always be enjoyable - whether you’re feeling emotional as you express your deep love or frisky, just working at reaching the ultimate “oh”. Avoid these moves in the bedroom to keep you and your lover happy. Don’t…

Act bored. Sex should always be a good time. Passion, romance and at times, pure animal instinct. Getting the impression that you’d rather be watching The Big Bang Theory as you doze off into space or look at the clock will crush his self-esteem (and performance).

Be a Paris Hilton.  Lying on your back like a dead fish (or trashy reality star), letting the other person do all the work, is so annoying.

Ask too many questions. “Is this ok?” Is this good for you?” “Do you like this?” “How about this?” “Faster?” “Slower?” These questions are distracting and ruin the mood, right? Right? Right? (Yes, I thought so too).

Be selfish. He just did that thing you loooove, so go ahead and give him what he wants too (within kinky reason, of course). Reciprocation is key.

Be as quiet as a mouse.  Of course you should whisper when you’ve got roommates in a tiny East Village apartment, but keeping quiet to the point of making your partner want to check if you’re even breathing is creepy. Soft moans are better than dead silence.

Talk about how your ex did it. Do not ever, ever bring up an ex or past lover when you’re in mid-romp. Ever.

Scream the wrong name. Again, don’t bring up an ex, even if by mistake. Concentrate on the person you love. Passionately calling your lover another name will ruin the mood (and possibly start a full on fight).

What do you avoid in bed? xo

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