Wednesday, May 23, 2012

How to Handle Social Media After a Breakup


(image via Lovelyish)

Meeting men on social media platforms seemed like the new online dating over the past year or so. With this new way to reach out (and potentially touch someone) there are, of course, Do’s and Don’t of Social Media Dating that had developed, changing everyone’s online etiquette. 

Back when rumors where flying that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher had broken up after his cheating heart had been reported, Demi tweeted out something a bit cryptic about men and their mistakes. Even celebs have discovered that while connecting and publicly sharing your love online can be an exciting new way to spread the word, technology has also made messy breakups even messier.

Tactfully deal with the end of a relationship online by following these tips!

Cautiously de-friend, un-follow and remove from Gchat. Deleting someone from your social network the minute you break up seems a bit rash and even childish. Calmly unfriend or unfollow your ex after a few days. Or just hide them from your news feed, but keep them as a friend. You’ll look like the bigger person, plus you can still stalk them in the future, if need be.

Avoid public flirting. Both your ex and anyone else following along with your breakup in a public social media platform (whether it’s your Facebook statuses or never-ending sad tweets) will take note. And if you’re the jealous type who was hurt by this ended romance, remember that your ex may take a cue from you and start publicly flirting with someone else. Can you handle seeing his public flirtations? If not, save the flirting to DM’s or private messages.

Refrain from posting cryptic statuses. Or lonely Adele lyrics. If you really want friends to take notice and listen to you cry about your broken heart, do it face to face, not desperately online.

Become “single” on Facebook. If you did the breaking-up, give your ex a few days to take down the “In A Relationship” themselves, so they can feel a little less dumped. Being “official on Facebook” can do more bad than good when a love has gone sour. Try to save relationship statuses for your engagement and marriage, please.

Take a social media vacation. A few days off from the internet gives both people in the breakup a non-public mourning period for a chance to go through those initial, emotional moments without saying (or reading) something hurtful or rude online. Even if you’re happy about the breakup, it’s more respectful to your ex to avoid happy (or fake-happy) over-sharing, so that your ex doesn’t have to see that you’re “Out with the girls’ for a night of freedom – finalllyyyyyyyy!” or on a “First date tonight with a sexy man I met at Le Bain. Fingers crossed”.

To De-friend or not to de-friend your ex’s friends? If you despise his buddies and know you’ll never interact with them again, both on and offline, then delete them from your online life. If you always got along really well and the relationship didn’t end on horrible terms, you can keep them as “friends”, but refrain from commenting on their walls for a few weeks or even months, so your ex doesn’t have to see your name and profile photo all over his feed.

How do you handle a breakup during the age of social media? xo

4 comments:

  1. lmao things we have to think about in the 21st century. I wrote a post about a guy shortly after our date ;) Probably not the best etiquette but it was a bad date and he needed to know!

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  2. All excellent advice for the every person who uses social media casually and socially. I find there's a trickier landscape to navigate for those like you and I who use SM as part of our daily lives - as work or as you mention, celebrities (which we are in our own right, to an extent). If you or I disappeared from Twitter for a few days - the social media vacation you mention - well, it might speak louder than just a few vague or non-specific Tweets throughout the day would. (I actually went off the grid completely in October for a little less than a week and all hell broke loose, literally.) It becomes a much more curious question - @midtowngirl and I discussed this briefly when I met her at Ayza - about how much to share online in the first place and how much to keep to yourself.

    I've lately been wondering also how to deal with the inevitable moment when the guy you've been talking to Googles you and discovers your site... or when you've already told him about it and start wondering well how much has he read and what does he think...

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  3. Very, very good points, Yvo! I've had a non-social media type guy I was dating discover my blog and Twitter a year or so ago and it led to interesting conversations - from the stuff you mentioned to will I be writing about him, as a dating blogger.

    This is an interesting notion for a new post ;)

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  4. Impressive article!!! I am looking for this kind of helpful article. I don't want to publish my breakup over social media. It creates many problems in my life. I will keep your advice in my mind. Thanks my mate. handling a break up

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