Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Single Girl’s Survival Guide: Seeing Your Ex For the First Time

Let’s not sugarcoat it – breakups suck. What makes them suck even more is having mutual friends with your ex. And in a city like New York, with gossiping social circles on a tiny island, you’re bound to bump into ghosts of boyfriends past. If you think a run-in may take place at an upcoming acquaintance’s birthday party, charity gala or even a late-night rendezvous in a dark bar downtown, be prepared with these single girl’s survival guide tips before you head out!
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Decide if it’s best to ‘Put Baby in the corner’. Before buying a new LBD for the night, think long and hard if you’re even ready to see him again. Can you handle watching your ex-flame kissing all over his new girlfriend? And what if, during your Facebook research (okay, stalking) it appears that he’s still single? Would you be okay seeing him chat with friends without holding your hand? If the answer is ‘no’ to either of these questions, don’t RSVP.

Dress for success. Wear an outfit that’s flattering, sexy and above all - makes you feel confident! You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard, so nothing slutty or you’ll appear desperate. Dress for your curves, flatter your eyes, and rock your favorite heels. Be the best version of yourself.

Pre-game. Enjoy a glass or two of wine before the event to take the edge off your nerves. But, do not get college-style wasted. Arriving drunk will lead to a disaster. You won’t be able to control your words or actions when you encounter your ex. Tragic and sloppy is not a good look on you.

Land a wing-woman. Ask a friend to be prepared to suggest heading up to the bar together for a drink or to follow her into the ladies room for help with her mascara, when getting too deep in an awkward situation with your ex.

Flirt with Mr. Right Now. Do you spy a handsome stranger? Or is one of your hot single male buddies in attendance? It may seem petty to flirt with one of these good-looking men in front of your ex solely to make him jealous, but do it to kick your confidence up a few notches.

Be calm, cool and collected. The first time you encounter your ex in public may feel weird and awkward - if you let it. Take a deep breath, and stay cool. You’re ex will probably feel relaxed following by example.

Take the lead. Be polite, and say “hello.” Avoid playing the who’s-going-to-make-a-move-first game. You’ll feel more in control of the situation if you suck it up and say “hi”. Keep the conversation short and sweet, and then work the party with your head lifted high.

How do you survive the first encounter with an ex? xo

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