Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You've Slept With Your Friend. Now What?

(Chandler and Monica's 1st kiss via

After that line from being platonic buddies to sharing a bed has been crossed after too many tequila shots, friendships can turn awkward.  Even if he was cuddly in the morning, despite a pounding headache and hangover induced nausea, he may not seem as sweet during your next interaction.  Is he afraid he ruined your friendship?  Was he only interested in one night of sex or a friend with benefits?  Is he embarrassed?  Or just trying to play it cool?  Every guy reacts differently in this situation.  Some may avoid you, some will pretend like nothing has changed (purposely calling you "dude" always does the trick to crush your heart), and some may realize they are head-over-heels and pursue you for future plans.  Here are ways to handle the morning-after mistake:

Ignore Him. Yes, this is a silly game.  But, by pretending you don't care (no initiating texts or making plans) will either intrigue him to go after you (because what guy doesn't love the chase?) or make it clear to him he is off the hook.  You must know what you want before you run this game.

Be Honest. Yes, this can be tough, but by flat out telling him the sex was fun, but you're not looking to create drama (or date for that matter) will put both of you at ease.  And if you want no strings attached sex, just throw that out there too.  And if you’ve loved your friend from afar and this night of passion made it clear for you that you want to be his one-and-only, you must speak up now.  It takes serious guts to put it all on the table, but if he isn't man enough to clear the air, you should take charge.

Date Other Guys.  And make sure he hears about it.  But, if he isn’t jealous, who cares?  New guys will help you to move the F on.  This is a win-win.

Play The Waiting Game.  Give him time to cool off, get his space, and feel less awkward.  You can go back to being “just friends” (okay, “just friends” who have seen each other naked) eventually.  You’ll both need days (weeks, perhaps?) apart to decide how you really feel or to make your one night of intimacy feel like a distant memory.

Move On.  If he is no longer contacting you or willing to hang out like old times, just take it with a grain of salt that this guy isn't mature enough to stay friends and isn't interested in more.  You’re way too beautiful, smart, and lovely to chase a guy who isn’t decent enough to give you respect.  You will find better.

What do you do after a platonic friendship turns intimate? xo

3 comments:

  1. such great advice, you are wise beyond your years miss Sarah! (and a great writer, to boot)

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  2. any guy lucky enough to be attracted to a girl who is his friend should be thanking his lucky stars. But, alas, girls always want real things and guys just want...video games. Love this article chica!!

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  3. BEST advice ever! Thankyou so much! :D

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