Thursday, June 9, 2011


(image via

Keep your friends close and your frenemies closer.  Your best girlfriends are your support system in the city.  These ladies lend a shoulder to cry on, delve out better advice than your therapist, and make you laugh until you (almost) pee your pants after too many dirty martinis.  But a frenemy must be kept under a watchful eye, as this fake friend can’t be trusted.  She will try to steal your man, land your dream job promotion, or gossip her way into damaging your social status.  Pay close attention to these frenemy clues, so you don’t become the next Lauran Conrad, stabbed in the back by a Heidi Montag.

1. She’s All Over Your Crush. When you're out at a bar she can't help but touch his arm or graze his leg as they joke.  She may be his roommate or his friend from back in his dorm days, but that doesn't give her physical privileges with the man she knows you have feelings for.  This frenemy will play it off like she is flirty by nature - she “just can’t help it”.  Try to keep your cool and pretend you don’t even notice.  She is hoping to make you jealous, so pretending it isn’t a big deal might make her keep her hands to herself.

2. She Steals Your Career.  You've been working your butt off for five years and finally get the chance to meet with your boss about a promotion.  Then you overhear she secretly interviewed for the job you want, after helping you practice interview questions and giving advice.  Don’t share secrets by the water cooler with this two-faced coworker.

3. She Only Gives Superficial Compliments. “Oh I loooooove your sunglasses.” and “Where did you get those amazing shoes?”  and “You've been looking super skinny lately.”   Watch out for the girl who doesn't have anything else to say.  She's buttering you up for a reason.

4. She Only Gives Backhanded Compliments.  A real friend could hurt your feelings by mistake, but a frenemy hopes that her comments bother you.  "That's a great outfit for someone your size."  Or “You should be so happy a guy who’s that smart is interested in you.”

5. She Diminishes Your Accomplishments.  This frenemy will ruin a positive moment for you with careless words, such as "I'm so happy about your promotion. You almost make as much as I do now.”

6. She’s a Gossip.  This one is obvious.  If you find out from others in your circle or from coworkers that this frenemy is talking about you behind your back, it’s time to drop her asap.

7. She’s Unhealthily Competitive.  This frenemy is constantly comparing her life with yours or competing with you over even the most minor things.  She must top every story you tell.  “Oh, your boyfriend surprised you with pink peonies?  That’s sweet.  My boyfriend got me earrings at Tiffany’s last weekend just because.”

8. She Derails Your Efforts to Succeed.  Whether you’re working hard to lose weight or saving money for a European vacation, this frenemy is jealous of your success.  She may temp you to skip spin class for wings and beer or encourage you to buy that Kate Spade handbag for spring with the money you’ve been saving for your trip.  Be selfish for your own health and money matters.  Don’t let this frenemy interfere with your path to health, love, or financial success.

How do you define a frenemy xo

1 comment:

  1. i love this. i know way too many women who are like this, especially #7! ugh.

    <3 you shakes.

    your biggest fan


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