Friday, April 22, 2011

Top Lies Men Tell Women


After divulging some of the little lies women tell men, it seems appropriate to list the common lies straight from the lips of our male counterparts.

1. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”  If a first date just didn’t seem to produce heart-throbbing fireworks, he’s not going to call you back.  Ever.  Really.  And trust me when I say, “it’s okay”.  Stop wasting time replaying everything he said in your mind.  Don’t call your BFF to help you decide what Carrie Bradshaw would say.   Your bestie will just make it worse with her thoughts on his motives for his actions and words.  Just move on.
 
2. “Sure, I’ll still respect you if we sleep together on the first date.”  The important thing here is that you respect yourself after sleeping with him.  Men will say almost anything to get you into bed once they are turned on and their testosterone is pumping.  If you’re the type of girl who enjoys one night stands, then go for sex on the first date.  But, if you’re always emotionally connected to a guy post-sex and will be hurt if he never calls you back, head back to your apartment alone.

3. “Tell me about your day.”  Harsh fact, but men don’t want to hear about your day; they don’t.  Unless you’re working for the FBI, posing for Playboy, or serve as the the nanny to Jenna Jameson’s twin babies, there’s really nothing interesting men find about your work day being miserable because Emily from HR stole your Fage yogurt from the office fridge, which sabotaged your weight loss efforts.  Not all women participate in this type of recall process when talking about their day, but the ones who do (and yes, I’m totally guilty), please stop it.  And share these little dramas about that jealous bitch of a coworker with your best girlfriend instead.  

4. “I’m not drunk.”  Dude, I can smell the PBRs on your breath.  And you can barely get your key in the apartment door.  Give us a break.  Just fess up to your Hooters boozefest with your bros.

5. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”  Translation: “I’m not looking for a relationship with YOU right now.”

6. “I’m not interested in you just for the sex.”  Hmm, really?  Well, we should probably do stuff other than, you know, have sex.  Plans before 2am?  Dinner, perhaps?

7. “I’m leaving her for you.”  Oh, but he hasn’t done it yet, has he?  If he’s still married, living with his girlfriend, or in any relationship that leaves you as the mistress, end it with him and run.  If he has no problem having you as his “other woman”, what will stop him from cheating on you once you kids make it official?

8. “I don’t think she’s that pretty.”  I love this lie.  Tell this lie all the time.

What have men lied to you about? xo

5 comments:

  1. I love this post, so funny AND so true!

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  2. Interesting post...I think another major lie men tell (during a break up) is: "you don't deserve me'' total B.S. It's merely a mechanism to make them feel less guilty. :-)

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  3. how about "I didnt pick up my phone becuase the battery died"

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  4. I disagree on the "Tell me about your day". But that's just me...

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  5. I got, "Oh come upstairs..please? Nothing will happen. We'll just have a nice glass of wine and chat." Mmmhmmm. Men. :)

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