Online Dating Advice for Men

Although I have dated many different men over the past five years as a downtown girl-about-town in NYC, I have yet to venture into online dating.  I've met men at bars, through friends, at work, and at random city locations (from Whole Foods to Crunch Gym), but never from posting an internet profile.  Many of my girlfriends have joined the online dating world and have more than their share of stories to share with our fellow single ladies and advice to give to the men in the virtual world.  So dudes, listen up to my sassy Guest Blogger, Marisa:

-When you message me, don’t just say "hi you're pretty".  I know that already, got anything else?

-If you're not answering the drug question I'm assuming you do drugs on the regular, and as Alanis says "I'm not the doctor".

-Please don't ask for my number after the very first message, you creepy Long Island serial killer.  I don’t want my body to end up on the beach.

-When you do ask for my number, at the right time, don’t text me.  I don’t need a virtual boyfriend.

-Don't send me a four page journal entry about your deepest darkest secrets.  You're creepy, go away.

-Ok, so I sent you a message first, big deal.  I know your manly ego tells you it’s wrong for a woman to approach you.  You're intimidated by the fact that I have big enough balls myself to write to you.  But, instead of not writing back, even though you really want to, just do it.  You'll grow a pair of balls one day.  I hope.

-Listen, if I send you a message and you're not interested you don't have to write back, I get it.  But PLEASE, don't continuously look at my profile every day unless you're planning on writing me back sometime before I'm dead.

-Please don't join this dating website if you're not actually interested in a relationship.  You're wasting my time.

What advice to you have for the men of the online dating world? xo