Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Top 10 Reasons Not To Marry Him

10. He’s just so sweet
Finding that special someone can be a grueling and lengthy task.  So when you do come across a socially acceptable guy (the kind you'd take home to meet your parents back in the burbs), you may feel tempted to snatch him up from the reach of the millions of single city ladies.  But as sweet, handsome and well-educated as he may be, it won't mean much if your personalities don't jive. His well behaved personality and “good on paper” qualities should come in second to sharing similar tastes, interests and goals. Remember: He has to be right for you, not everyone else.

9. You've Been Dating Forever
Don't get me wrong, I’m impressed by any romance that can withstand the test of time.  And it's great when a teenage crush can grow into a full-blown adult romance.  But let's be real, if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, wouldn't he have put a ring on it by now?  Somewhere in your subconscious there are valid issues that are keeping you from getting engaged.  Don't worry about the years you've already invested; think about all the future ones you'll spoil by doing something that just doesn't feel right.  Staying with someone just because it’s comfortable and easy, are not reasons to stay together to wait until he makes it official.

8. All Your Friends Are Doing It
It's normal that you want to be included in the wedding planning convos with your girlfriends at brunch and be a part of current trends.   But unlike owning the newest pair of Sergio Rossi pumps, this “follow the leader” approach should not apply to marriage.  Being the only unwed gal in your crew may feel a little awkward at times, but it's nothing compared to the agony you'll feel by getting hitched to the wrong guy, just to feel like you’ve caught up with the group.

7. To Please Your Parents
Your parents are convinced that all of their friends’ kids are married.  And they can’t wait to be grandparents.  But, having your parents’ opinion should not be the deciding factor on who is the best man to spend the rest of your life with.  (Arranged marriages and dowries are so 19th Century)  A marriage is not a group endeavor, and the fact that your parents think he's an angel sent from heaven won't make the relationship work.  In other words, put your feelings first; all you can do is just hope that mama and daddy approve.

6. It's The Logical Next Step
Most ladies (and some men) seem to think that marriage is just one of those logical steps in the sequence of life (Job? Check. Bought a Manhattan apartment? Check. Marriage?).  But just because you have a great career and a nice two-bedroom on Central Park West, that doesn't mean you should complete the package with a walk down the aisle.  Everyone takes different paths in life, and it's possible that yours won't necessarily include dress fittings and church rehearsals in the near future.

5. Financial Stability
Just because owning a place in the city with a spouse will make your mortgage more affordable, does not mean you must jump into marriage to make owning your dream apartment a reality.   Two incomes and joint health insurance seems tempting to enjoy a more luxurious life, but don’t commit to a life together based on money alone.

4. You’ve Always Dreamed of Your Wedding
You decided on your wedding colors, honeymoon location, and your children’s names back in your middle school diary.  You’re that girl who fantasized about her wedding your whole life and can’t wait to get your wedding planner on payroll.  While the guy you’ve been dating may not seem like Mr. Right, he’s got potential and the timing would be perfect for a June wedding at The Plaza.  Just because you’ve got it all planned out in your mind, doesn’t mean you should rush to make it a reality with the wrong guy.  You’re time for your dream wedding will come one day; don’t rush it with the wrong guy just to experience the fairytale. 

3. He Caught You Off Guard
In one of life's unpredictable turn of events, by some freak miracle, he proposed to you earlier than you would have expected it.  And being on the spot, coupled with the fact that you're head-over-heels for him, may lead you to say "yes" without giving it enough consideration.  But if you have even the slightest doubt, take the time to mull it over.

2. You're Close To His Family
You love his mom's cooking, his dad gives great advice, and his sister is one of your closest friends.  But it's not his family that you will have to share a bed with for the rest of your life.  And if things just aren’t perfect with him any longer, don’t stay around because you don’t want to hurt his loving mother’s feelings.  Focus on finding the right individual rather than the right family portrait.  It's very likely that if you get along with him, your in-laws will be just as special.

1. You’re Having His Baby
Let’s be brutally honest: Kids do not make marriages work.  It may not be in your, his, or a child's best interest to see two parents subject themselves to a marriage of convenience.  Work together to come up with the best solution, but remember that there is a third party involved. And your child will be the one who suffers most should his/her parents force themselves into a family mold.  Remember, there are successful single parents everywhere.

What reasons aren’t good enough for you to get married? xo


  1. I LOVE this post, so hilarious!

  2. wow. what are the reasons you should get married then? hahaha ;) such a fun read.

  3. Love this. The truth hurts (i.e.- #9....been w/ my boyfriend almost 8 years and still no ring. So tough!!!


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