Smudged mascara. Ripped opaque nylons. Missing earring. A dress that is just too tight, short, and black for Sunday brunch. Praying you put sunglasses in your sequined clutch. Ladies, welcome to your early morning walk of shame.
(image via)
Back in your college days, this was acceptable and laughed about with your sorority sisters, while getting greasy foods to cure your hangovers. Walking from frat house to dorm after sunrise always entertained your friends. Now, I'm not saying all of my girlfriends are guilty of this shameful walk, but a few couldn't avoid it from time to time. As an adult in the city that never sleeps, my ladies and I pride ourselves in making more mature decisions when it comes to dating than we did back in school. But, every once in a while, a girl commits this embarrassing act. And can't hide when buying her Zero Calorie Vitamin Water at the Duane Reade. It's always on these treks home when you can't find a yellow cab quick enough and the bumpy subway might make you vomit.
What are your strategies to avoid (or disguise) a walk of shame? Xo
removing fake lashes and any visible eye makeup,always keeping concealer in your bag,never leaving home without a coat, scarf or jacket of some sort and of COURSE over sized sunglasses will do the trick :)
ReplyDeleteI like to call it the Stride of Pride!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of one of my favorite college songs...Lyrics below :
ReplyDeleteThis song is from a college group… and it is titled “The Walk of Shame”
Hello daylight my old friend
Oh god I’ve done it yet again
And by the early morning light I see
A random stranger sleeping next to me
Last night he seemed cute
But now he doesn’t seem so cool
He slept in drool
Its time to take
The WALK OF SHAME!
And from his creaky bed I creep
I pray to god he stays asleep
And as I throw on my dress and heels
I hope I don’t run into him at meals
I almost trip over his roommate sleeping in the hall
Against the wall
How I dread
The WALK OF SHAME
Hung over and out of place
I do my best to hide my face
My dorm has never seemed so far away
I haven’t brushed my teeth since yesterday
What I left in his room might make this my last hoorah
My WonderBra
DOH!
The WALK OF SHAME
The morning garbage crew is there
I can’t avoid their knowing stare
And I see figures moving in the fog
The rugby team out for their morning jog
Then a gust of wind comes and blows my skirt above my ears
The whole team cheers
They know my past, WALKS OF SHAME
But now I’m home so I don’t care
I wash the vomit from my hair
As I approach my bed I start to cry
My roommates in it with some sleazy guy
And I wonder how thick my roommate’s beer goggles must have been
To sleep with him
His turn to take the walk of shame
I keep a pair of rolled up flats in my purse. I feel like it's the stiletto heels that make the next morning the worst!
ReplyDeleteI've lost many a favorite earring during those party years, so very long ago!
ReplyDeleteMy strategies were extra panties in my purse, a hair elastic, a small perfume sample, along with some mints & a long sweater!
I have had ONLY ONE instance where i endured the walk of shame...i went home with a bartender. The following morning with my mascara making its way int eh pillows under my eyes i got a phone call from my mom that my granne was in the hosp. I ran my walk of shame to the hospital. My entire family was there. I showered of course but had on the same club clothes as the night before and bed head. thank goodness for makeup remover wipes!
ReplyDeleteIm totally down for a foodie girls night!!!!
First of all, I'd rather have a Walk of Shame from Downtown to the last stop on the 7 in North Flushing than wake to someone who will NOT leave.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, my worst memory was that exact travel route. There I was with my raccoon eye makeup, chaffing panty hose, and blistered toes in a heel too high and a blouse far to low for Sunday Morning.
My head spinning and sipping on my DragonFruit Vitamin Water, I hear "Hola Maestra, Como estas Estoy La Madre de Juan ------" Yep, only people who speak Spanish to me our my student's parents. To make matters worse, a man moved over and there is darling Juanito in a soccer uniform.
I smiled awkwardly.
As awkward as that story is, it doesn't beat one of my besties who had to perform the dreaded walk of shame in a, well let's call it a Princess Jasmine costume ;)
Shley - DYING over your story!
ReplyDeletePS - it was a genie costume. And it was ALMOST Halloween ;)
You are dying but I had no way to hide my cleavage!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love Shely's story!! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteAuntie, you're comment is too much! Great tips that I WON'T pass on to my girls!! Ha!
Now here is a story in which a certain NYC blog-tress avoided the dreaded Walk of Shame....even though it would have only been an elevator ride away........
ReplyDeleteSo here I am at this sorority formal.....at a bar by the SI Ferry.....I know trashy to begin with....anyway...By the end of the night this lovely lady is sitting on this guys lap as I have to put her High Heels on for her....we stumble down stairs to the bar area at which time, said Blog-tress is with her date....we will call him Oscar-the-Grouch....i turn my head for 5 seconds and she disappears. After inquiring with one of her sisters who is having some drama of her own, I was ordered to bring the Blog-tress there now.....so there I go "officer and a gentlemen" style...into the ladies room...pick up our Blog-tress (who mind you is sobbing uncontrollably) Carry her to the awaiting cap and send her off to her dorm room with her sisters, while I make sure her date gets home in one piece!
And that is the story of how she avoided the walk of shame!!!!
Oh Derek, sometimes I still need a gentleman to put my shoes back on and get me in a cab!
ReplyDeleteMiss you, Hubby xo
Hahaha, this reminds me of my single days and my one and only walk of shame back to our hotel in South Beach. Clubwear walking into the lobby of the Victor at 8am...classic.
ReplyDeleteShley, LOVE your story!
ReplyDeleteRach...you won't NEED to pass my crazy antics onto your girls, they'll be WAY ahead of the game by then!
Derek, YOU'RE the man! You always come through for ALL of your ladies!!
I bet someone else in that SI ladies room could have used some saving!
ReplyDeleteIt's not fun being woken up by a bunch of frat pledges in hell week looking for the lost member of their group....
Oh Court... sometimes I miss those crazy days! xo
ReplyDeleteAh yes....those crazy days......funny story...my kids just posted a video on facebook of our cross night last year and after we finished singing on the bridge you can see me standing there aftr and you can hear me freak-out as I run into none other than Jayne who is there visiting as an Advisor as well......I asked if she wanted to come to our cross party to which she replied...."Omg I am too old for this shit..." to which i said... "Agreed!!!"
ReplyDelete